jazz im wohnzimmer
[high-five sound effect] top of the morning to you laddies! my name is jacksepticeye and welcome to a game called "tattletail", which everybody has been asking me to play, because apparently it's the new "scariest game of all time" or various things that the people in the comments have been saying. everyone keeps saying that it's terrifying. so, i'm kind of interested to see how it goes the premise of the game is that it's like a "furby" kind of thing,
and i grew up when the furby craze was, like, at its peak when kids were asking for furbies was like, my generation of youths, um... and they were freaky! they were weird little things that never shut the f*ck up and i never understood the appeal of them, even when i was a child i never really liked them and never had one, but i had friends who had them and they were soooo annoying, so
i don't know if this is like a fnaf type of thing, 'cos i did read that it was like five nights... but it seems to be an open world but, what i do really love is the era that it captured. like, the vhs kind of style, so... let's get in! i really like that, it's really cool. 'cos again, like, the '90s. my generation growing up. december 20th 1998 5 days before christmas *head bopping* music's cool!
ooh! it's pretty! we have a trypophobia- "open your christmas present early!" okay. this is a nice fucking room for a kid. can i get in my bed? they got a trypophobia moon on my roof! it's very f*cking dark, can i turn on the lights? no... why would i be able to turn on my lights? [sarcasm]
hello? this is a nice house! ooh! yay! shouldn't my christmas presents be under the tree? [lullaby music plays] okay. thank you, lullaby christmas tree. what do you keep telling me i'm making sounds for? "hold shift to run. be careful, it makes noise." is that something, right there? oh, i thought those were eyes. it's just the doorknobs.
"knock on mom's door." [knocking sound] mahm i think mom's dead... oh, of course. of course your toy's in the basement. where the hell are my parents? why am i left alone in my house?? watch the yellow icon on the top right to see when you are making noise. ok. got it.
where's my christmas present? i want furby here it is! which one is it? this one. ahh, there he is! tattletail. hi. tattletail: me tattletail. me lovvvvee you. you're annoying. [imitating tattletail]me love you.
me likey bouncy. is this an egg? tattletail: happy birthday! play time for me! [?] ok, calm down, shut the fuck up, it's not my birthday. he really eats. grab some food from the upstairs- ok. got it. are you gonna eat- keep track of tattletail's needs using the bars at the t-
tattletail: give me a treat! i- i'm fuckin tryin ifyou'dsh- oh my god, it's like- is this the fridge? i'm trying, shut the fuck up! tattletail [super fucking creepily]: he he he he. me tattletail. me luuuuuvvvv you. brushable hair. use the brush in the living room to clean tattletail. it really is just like a real furby. just- [laugh]
now i know why you're called tattletail. that makes sense. that's clever actually. is this the brush? tattletail: play time for me! [imitating tattletail] play time for me! tattletail: [more demonic laughter] oh my god. tattletail: me tired. you sound like spongebob!
[spongebob laugh] [real laugh] aw, tattletail, you're alright! can i phone the cops? maybe i'll tattletail them- wrap tattletail back up. ok. can do. [suspenseful music and robotic sounds] who turned out the lights, now?
tattletail: it's dark! i know it's dark! tattletail: me tired! you know what's worse than a furby? a fucking sentient furby. [imitating tattletail] me tired. me too, me tired of your shit. (fuckin roasted) i'm putting you back in your box so y- tattletail: back to bed!
i got an egg! chewed dog food. [typing sounds] there's 22 eggs? why would i want chewed dog food? ok. go to bed. man! this game is fucking not scary. just pick up a furby. go to bed. the music's ramping up though.
what are ya doing that for? stop. i can't fucking see anything. that's the scariest part about this game. is that the child is left alone in his house. with a sentient furby. [strange tattletail-like laugh in the distance] [phone rings] hint: don't answer the phone.
[phone rings again] ok, but now i kinda want to. buuut, you told me not to, ok. i'm going to bed! [phone rings yet again] why is the front door open? [guess what? it rings again] ok. i'm just going to bed! [still ringing]
everyone's telling me to do all sorts of shit. what did i get this time? missing sock. what am i gonna get next time? hard boiled eggs or something? well, i'm going to bed. fuck. yo. shit. night one, done! ain't nothing scaring jackaboy.
december 21st! [imitating the music] buh ba buh ba buh ba buh ba buh ba music's cool. again, i really like the style! investigate the clunking noise. [clunking noise] maybe his- maybe his mom. maybe... she's on her treadmill.
maybe she knows that... christmas is coming up and she needs to shed some pounds. [clunking continues] is it in here? [louder clunking noise/footstep sounds] boom! i'm a fucking noisy ass child. do i have nails on the bottoms of my shoes? hey, the lights are on this time!
sugar! oh man! i want some puffies! screw finding tattletail, i want some puffies! is it tattletail? is he downstairs? [jack's footsteps] sound's like some sick beats! [attempted beatboxing] where the f*ck is it though? oh! you're over here. ok.
that's new! who put you in the washing machine? is he gonna be in it? tattletail: [that creepy laugh again] tattletail! what are you doing in there, you little scamp! you little ball of shite. [laughing] tattletail: me dizzy!
awww! [laughing] tattletail: [singing] ba da da da de da da! charging station included. please charge- oh. is this it? tattletail: [more singing] i don't think he needs to be charged. i think he needs to be shut the f*ck up. i think he needs to take his batteries out! for ten minutes.
tattletail: [even more singing] oh, that didn't help. let's have some fun. this beat is sick. tattletail: [laughing] me tattletail. me love you! find a vase in the basement to play with. you know, how every kid f*cking loves to play with. a vase! tattletail: tattletail, that's me! i know.
if you could just- if you could just... not tattle for five minutes. that would great. daddy has a bit of a headache, listening to your nonsense! i'm not seeing any vases! this is a vase.
that vase isn't fun enough, apparently. tattletail: play time for me! big vase! you have to find a piece of sh*t that you can break. the priceless porcelain vase is not fun enough. no. you have to find a piece of sh*t that you can break. ok, tattletail. tattletail: let's play a game! there's an egg over here! how did i miss the egg? tattletail: me love play time with you!
loose change! lovely! now i have enough fare to get the bus home. oh wait, no! i'm already home. ok, there's lights on in here. ahhh. these are the vases. more eggs! wait! what's this one gonna be? uhhhh...
uhhh. a jar of dirt! peanut shells! you know, in case i have a pet elephant. oo! flashlight! can't pick up the flashlight apparently. in case i have a pet elephant that i wanna mess around with. tattletail: me- shut up!
[vase breaks and weird metallic music] now i can grab the flashlight! that wasn't playing with the vase ya fu- tattletail: [makes his usual sounds mixed with beeping] oh, calm down! [more beeping] shake flashlight. right click. [beeping and shaking sounds] ahhhh!
are you- are you frightened? are you? i though i was supposed to be the one that's scared! [flashlight shaking] [electrical sound] ok, those are eyes this time! those are eyes that time i- a- i- i saw them! i saw y- wrap tattletail back up. oh.
with, f*cking pleasure. some events and creatures make your flashlight go out. tattletail: mama scary! mama's scary.. ok. maybe it's because mama beat the sh*t out of you. cool, wrapped him back up. [sigh] ahh. you hear that?
[silence] blissful silence! ah, tattletail. oo! there's an egg here. maybe it was the egg that was f*cking me up. come on, diapers! french fry. i'm just gonna say right now, i'm not really getting the eggs. it's cool though!
s'pretty neat! it's not scary though. [laugh] wait, lights are gonna go out. oh, no. the phone's gonna ring. nevermind. i might just go into- i'm going to bed again! [knock on the door] hello? who's there? [more knocking]
hello?! [knocking and ringing] ok. you're not answering! [knock knock] i'm just going to bed. can i actually even do anything with this? [knocks] no. [laughs]
se ya later, mister! my parents aren't here. stranger danger! and all that jazz... look both ways before you cross the street! i did it! again! surprisingly. december 22nd!
three days before christmas! [imitating the music again] do do do do do do do [strange sounds] who's been mess- who's messing with my vinyl player? [more sounds] i hear that. someone's messing with my vinyl player. mom, is that you? [knocking] i think mom's here.
investigate the grinding noise. with! plejay! [lots of grinding] the hell is that? [honestly, just a lot of noise] hello? coming from over here- ooo! there's a trail of eggs this time! ooo! i like games!
what'd we get?! doll hair! are we gonna get like doll's face? and then- ooo. i'm missing an egg! does that mean if i didn't get them on the first or second nights, i'm not gonna get them ever? a dead beetle! man! can you feel the christmas joy?! [chuckle]
broken crayon. maybe i'm just reliving my terrible childhood. [noises still happening] the f*ck is that thing? it's like a big one! lost earring. mom! were you down here? god! that's annoying. [the sounds, that haven't stopped]
no wonder i'm woken up. fingernail clippings. ew! [so much noise] load cassette into mama. ohhhhh! you're mama! why are you sitting next to ketchup? was it your french fry?
i think s- mama! maybe it's her lost earring. [music plays] cassette: [woman's voice] the children thought that mama would never find them, as long as she couldn't see them. cassette: turn the page! turn the page? cassette: but mama could still hear the children. ha ha hoh! cassette: the pitter patter of their little feet led mama right to them.
ummmm... cassette: so mama found the children. later mama! cassette: every last one. i'm going back up to find my- my little bro. i'mma find my bro tt. motha f*cking tattletail, son! tattletail: [laughs in the distance] listen to that cute little bastard!
tattletail: [laughs again] [jack imitates tattletail's laugh] he he he he he tattletail: [laughs] [jack does the spongeboob laugh again] what are you doing up here, you little scamp? were you raiding the food? he's just hungry! it's like! you know what it's like?
it's like a furmy cros- a furby crossed with the gremlins. the gremlins movie. tattletail: me love you! i love you too! tattletail: show me mama! bring tattletail back to mama. simple enough. you don't have many needs, do you? you haven't needed to eat or...
sh*t, or groom or anyth- why would i need to groom you? if you love it so much, why do you wanna go back to mama? i don't love play time with you. you're annoying. i mean you're cute, but annoying at the same time. it's a very fine line. is mama still in here? tattletail: tattletail! that's me! i know!
[suspenseful music] tattletail: where's mama? mamas gone! mama took her- mama went to get some more ketchup. ketchup! ah man, i missed an egg! oh. with pleasure. that's the best part of my day. when i get to wrap this noisy son of a b*tch-
weights and a treadmill! i f*cking told ya! mom was just trying to get her swole on. she was just trying to lean up. in you go. what's it even say on this? presents for youuuu! i really lay eggs. what are you, dude? in you go!
back into your f*cking prison. i'm a real wiz kid at that. cleaning up tattletail's mess. did you sh*t all over the floor? i'm too young to be having a child, that's gonna sh*t all over the floor. and needs to be fed. is tattletail supposed to be teaching me some responsibility? all he's teaching me i-
[electrical sounds] f*ck. mama makes a grinding noise when she's nearby. if you hear it, stay quiet. [grinding noise] ah! there's mama! hey! how's it going?! are you the one grinding? if mama kills your flashlight, get away before you shake again.
[more grinding] [intense grinding] mama? you just hang out there, now! where'd she go? ah! f*cking mamas behind me! mama! mama only attacks when you make noise. ahhhhhhh.
so, lesson of the day is... leave tattletail downstairs and never play with him again. there's f*cking ketchup on the floor again! ["wubwub" music] mother of god! noisy bastards! i'm not answering that phone! nope! is someone gonna knock at my door again?
can i get some prozac in the bathroom? and to bed i go. nothing's happening! december 23rd. two days before christmas. ok! i assume that things are gonna ramp up and get a bit harder. investigate the chattering coming from outside. oh, wait. lemme se- lemme hear. [chattering]
it's tattletail! i don't need to go out there, i know what it is! i'm just going back to bed! goodnight! [tattletail sings] he's kinda cute. [tattletail keeps singing] that's ador- he just plays on his own! [imitating tattletail] la da da da da! tattletail: biiig ahhhh.
[imitating tattletail] biiig ahhhh. [jack does another songebob laugh] [real laugh] anyway! i'm gonna leave this episode here. i might finish it out in the next, um, two nights, or do another video doing the next two nights because i imagine they're gonna be harder than these ones were. not a whole lot happened.
it's not as scary as everyone's saying it is. i'm more... enthralled, by like, the fact that this reminds me of my childhood. i didn't have a f*cking house as nice as this, though. but like, the whole, cassette players, and the the tattletail like a furby and... it is a lot like...
gremlins. don't feed 'em after midnight. don't get water on 'em. 'cause then he's gonna multiply, and then you're gonna have a bunch of little bastards all right- rolling around. but, i'm assuming mama is like the bad guy. who i'm trying to avoid. i like this flashlight, though.
the ones that you shake, that you charge up- it feels like i'm just jacking off the flashlight, though. oh you like that? do you like that, flashlight? how fast can i do it? [fast flashlight shaking] oh! that's a charged flashlight. that's never gonna go out. [laugh] anyway!
thank you guys so much for watching this episode if you liked it, punch the like button in the face like a boss! and! high fives all around! wapoosh! well thank you guys, and i will see all you dudes
in the next video! [outro music] oh, well i get it now! ah sh*t! escalator! oh! nooooo! yeah! it's a snake! it's a- it's a rotten snake apparently! what the f*ck?
get outta here! right! are you ok on blood? spongebob! i mean, tattletail! can you just come to me for a change?